


i could've caught you, if i were little slower

by gwangmyungboy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Open to Interpretation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-22 23:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19139086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwangmyungboy/pseuds/gwangmyungboy
Summary: The boy seemed to have a hold on reality yet so lost in his own world he created inside his head. Youngho, without even realizing holding up his camera in front of his face. His left hand skillfully rotated the lens to focus on the view that had been consuming his attention, wanting to capture it. Even before he managed to press the shutter button, the boy had gone.He was one second away too late.





	i could've caught you, if i were little slower

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ttaddeuthae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ttaddeuthae/gifts).



> *Taeil and 95 line are basically same aged in this setting. I mean, the age gap between them irl is not that much either. I love them, they are my favorite boys.
> 
> *happiest birthday to mi!! i finally took this out as a contribution (my first one!!) to the johnil community for you. this was originally an unorganized au i wrote in my priv after staring at our profile pics (mine taeil, yours youngho) for three minutes straight. as you've already known. crazy, i am.
> 
> *if you want to read rushed written weird johnil fiction with lots of plot holes here it is. i'm so sorry. (also english isn't my native language. i'm sorry again)

 

The air conditioner in teachers office room letting out creaking sound which became more annoying as the tick of clock passed by. Youngho stared at the fluttering ribbon under its swinger wondering, _for such prestigious high school in seoul with ridiculously high tuition fee they surely can afford new air conditioner? for the teachers no less?_ he squinted his eyes. He then shifted his attention to the wristwatch on his left hand, it showed that there was only 20 minutes until the next class started. He involuntarily huffed, right leg rocked impatient, he couldn't stand being late. _Oh god, why is it taking so long?_

 

The sound of the office door sliding open against the floor announced the arrival of somebody into the room, Youngho turned his head to the direction. From where he was sitting on the waiting sofa available in the corner of the room he couldn't see the face of the person, just a tuft of auburn hair swinging as -he might say- the boy was looking for something or precisely someone in the room. Instead, Youngho got a look of the name badge under the embroidery badge of his school logo on the boy's right chest, bearing _Nakamoto Yuta_.

 

"Miss Lee? Were you looking for me?" Youngho heard the boy asked.

 

 _Ah, this boy must be the one i was waiting for,_ Youngho thought.

 

 

***

 

 

Youngho stared down at the brochure on his hand, the very reason Miss Lee asked for his presence in the teachers office and made him waiting for 10 minutes. _There is actually other student beside you whom i asked to come but he said he will be late for a bit, i'm sorry Youngho but can you wait? i want to tell you something but i need both of you present._ Miss Lee then said to him sheepishly.

 

 _National Photography Contest_ , the big capital words at the top of the paper said, pretty much giving away its content was about. Turned out the teacher asked him and Yuta whether they were interested to participate in the competition as their school's representatives, or more like purposefully chose them in the first place if you asked Youngho. It wasn't like he could refuse the teacher's request, he was the teacher's golden child from photography club after all. After Miss Lee had elaborated them about the said contest, he recalled how Yuta's face crumbled at first, saying that the school soccer team would have match next month and he was afraid that he couldn't participate. But the teacher quickly added that there still would be a month until the registration opened and the next two months for the deadline of submission. Yuta's face then lightened up in enthusiasm, Youngho didn't need to ask to know that Yuta would definitely participate then. While he was just silently taking in what the teacher had to say. Noticing the contrast between both boys' reaction, Miss Lee turned to him saying, _you can think about it first, there's still a lot of time,_ she smiled softly.

 

His pristine white indoor shoes glided across the carefully cleaned floor of the school corridor. There was still 10 minutes until the bell for the next class to ring so Youngho was taking his time walking to his classroom. The sunlight came through the big window which lining along the school corridor, it shone the speck of dust which calmly fluttering afloat in the air, almost made it seemed twinkling when Youngho passed by. He turned his head to the window, mind thinking back to his small introduction with Yuta not long ago after Miss Lee had dismissed them.

 

Yuta was a boy with friendly eyes, accompanied with easy big toothy smile. He seemed like someone who wouldn't think twice to give a stranger a big smile.

 

"Nakamoto Yuta, class 12-5."

 

After Youngho had said his own name and class in exchange for Yuta's introduction, without hesitation Yuta threw his arm around Youngho's shoulder proceeding to talk animatedly about how he once had heard about Youngho since he was also transferred student like him, unless Yuta had only come into the school last semester. He also said he was excited to be friends with Youngho and that they should hang out to hunt for photos as they would be joining the contest together. Youngho actually once heard about who Yuta was, besides being known as the transferred student from Japan, the boy made a name of himself among the students ever since he won second place in photography contest in their school summer festival a couple months back despite not being member of the photography club, and Miss Lee must have had seen a potential in him. Youngho could only smile and agree on what Yuta was saying, bit overwhelmed by how fast Yuta got so friendly with him. He was also a friendly person if he said himself, but the way Yuta got with people was different, he seemed to be a carefree person and full of fun. They then parted ways in school stairs since Yuta's classroom was located a floor above Youngho's.

 

If Youngho recalled more about it, he thought he saw a glint of recognition in Yuta's eyes when he looked at him. Like he seemed to know more about Youngho than what he let himself known. But Youngho quickly brushed it off since they got to meet each other only recently, decided that it might be just Yuta's nature being so easily friendly, and Youngho thought he was excited as well to be friends with Yuta.

 

When he stepped into the 12-3 classroom he walked straight towards his desk in the middle row. Taeyong, his deskmate, was just finishing his lunch as the boy meticulously tidying up his bento box. The moment Youngho pulled back his chair Taeyong turned to him, a question in his eyes, "What did Miss Lee ask your presence for?"

 

Youngho handed him the brochure. He watched as Taeyong wordlessly scanned the paper, "She chose you to be the school's representative," Taeyong guessed, eyes not leaving the paper. Youngho could only say "Yeah." before his deskmate added, "Will you go for it?" 

 

Youngho let out a little sigh before answering, "I don't know, yong."

 

A pair of eyebrows shot up, "Why not?"

 

"I'm just," Youngho didn't know, he couldn't find a reason at the moment, "-not sure, i guess."

 

Taeyong was about to say something but their mathematics teacher already stepped into the classroom along with the ring of the school bell, cutting their conversation short.

 

 

***

 

 

Their homeroom teacher just finished the last class for the day signifying the end of the school. The students in classroom 12-3 quickly went on doing their own things, some were swiftly packing their stuff into their bags clearly excited to go home, some went out to attend their after school activities, and some were just hanging around for a while in the classroom, each engaged in conversation. Youngho himself was slowly putting his books into his black bag having no after school activity in tuesday. After he had packed all his stuff, he made sure to check the trash he kept under his desk throughout the class. His hand met with the brochure he got that noon, he almost forgot that he had put it there. He wordlessly looked at it once again, his mind still couldn't decide on what he thought about it.

 

Taeyong upon noticing his silence looked at him and said carefully, "It's a good opportunity for you Youngho, it will be worth giving it a try."

 

A smile spread across Youngho's face, "I know." he said, but despite smiling so widely it couldn't hide the uncertainty which shone from his eyes. And it didn't go unnoticed. 

 

"What is holding you back?" Taeyong paused a little before adding softly, "I know you Youngho, you would never waste such a good opportunity like this. And you aren't the type who would back off easily before fighting your combat either. But then again, you are the one who knows yourself well."

 

Sometimes Youngho forgot how much of a best friend Taeyong was to him other than being his deskmate. It was really nice to be reminded the good quality in him once at a time, and Youngho was so thankful towards Taeyong for it. He made sure Taeyong to know, "Thanks, yong." he said accompanied with a smile.

 

Taeyong gave him his bright smile in return as he threw his bag across his shoulder, "Gotta catch up the student council meeting, you think about it yeah? But two cents from me, if you ever join that i know you're gonna _kill_ it.", grinning he patted Youngho's shoulder twice and proceeded to walk towards classroom door direction. "See you tomorrow Youngho."

 

Youngho chuckled a little, "See you."

 

 

***

 

 

Youngho eventually went to meet Miss Lee to submit his name for the contest a week after that, having come up empty with the reasons that could possibly hold him back after thinking so hard. There actually was still a bugging thought at the back of his head but he chose to ignore it and went for the competition with some courage courtesy of Taeyong. To say the teacher got so ecstatic was understandable, she was all smiles when she gave Youngho supportive little talk and advice. He might stepped out of the teachers office with less worry on his back. Not long after that, Yuta heard about it too, these past week had made them got close with each other. They met at the school canteen on lunch break the other day and decided to sit on the same table. Yuta, as Youngho had predicted, was really a fun person to get along with, there was really no silence when they were together. It seemed like both of them could come up with something to talk about animatedly. Ever since that day, anytime they met at the canteen they would sit together and talk.

 

Having known that both of them would participate in the competition, Yuta asked him to hang out on wednesday after school that week to get a head start on their work. But Youngho would have volley practice on the day. He said sorry to Yuta about it, however Yuta's answer caught him off guard, "Oh right, you are the middle blocker of the school team right?"

 

"Yeah." _how did you know?_ Youngho wanted to add but he held it back thinking it would come up as unnecessary, "How about thursday though? I don't have extracurricular that day." he said instead.

 

He watched as Yuta playing with the water bottle on his hand, "We have soccer practice after school that day," he smiled in apologize, "And by the start of next week we will have intense practice with the match coming up really soon, so i have free days only on wednesday, and the weekend this week."

 

"Friday then?"

 

"Friday, _call_!"

 

 

***

 

 

Youngho was walking around his neighborhood one monday afternoon. Lots of things running through inside his head yet he couldn't make a sense of them. His eyes seemed bit troubled. After hanging out with Yuta last friday he might or might not figure out some things.

 

 

Yuta had asked Youngho to not go anywhere and wait for him in his classroom after the end of school bell rang that day. Not long after that, Yuta appeared by his classroom back door which was left ajar since almost all of the student had left the room, a plastic bag in his right hand and camera bag hanging on his left shoulder. He paused a bit, eyes searching for Youngho which was not hard for there was only Youngho and seven other Youngho's classmates in it. After spotting Youngho sitting in his seat, Yuta walked in, confidence in his stride. He put the plastic bag on Youngho's desk as he pulling back Taeyong's chair to sit on. Curious, Youngho peered into the plastic bag. He found two sandwiches from the little shop across the school building which was pretty famous among the students, a bag of potato chips, and two bottles of isotonic drink. "What are these?" he asked.

 

"My treat." Yuta grinned pulling the stuff out and putting them onto the desk. "You don't mind i eat first right? i skipped lunch since i had to finish history essay at break, Mr. Shin was bit demanding about it."

 

"Sure thing," Youngho said lightly, he watched as Yuta peeling the sandwich plastic wrapper off, "Thanks anyway. And i know right about Mr. Shin, 3 pages essay, isn't it? Our class had in monday, bit too much for the first day of the week."

 

"Yeah!" Yuta said around a mouthful of the sandwich, he swallowed before continuing, "But at the end we all managed to finish it right?"

 

"True." seeing Yuta took big bites heartily made Youngho realized that he was kind of hungry himself, so he made move to take his own sandwich, "You know what? I know one way that can make your sandwich taste better." Youngho grabbed the bag of potato chips in front of him and shook it to give the point across, he grinned.

 

"What?" Yuta laughed at his antics, "Putting potato chips into your sandwich? I know you would do that, i bought that for you though. Go ahead, but i prefer eating my chips separately thank you very much." with that Yuta took another big bite.

 

Youngho huffed, partly surprised that Yuta once again knew something about him which he didn't remember ever mentioned to him before, "You are no fun." yet pushing back another _how did you know_ which was at the tip of his tongue. It might be just coincidence combined with Yuta's cockiness when he said that and Youngho looked too much into it. Youngho also didn't want to doubt Yuta's kindness by asking such question, it sounded bit naive on his side but some things were better left unknown. He might ask Yuta someday though if he ever had a tongue slip.

 

Two sandwich plastic wrappers left and half eaten bag of potato chips later, they started on their work. Though there was no photo hunting that day as Yuta asked him questions regarding camera and lens type, photography techniques and stuff. And Youngho was okay with that, happily sharing what he had learned from the club with Yuta. They ended up discussing a lot of things. When you shared something you wouldn't lose anything, you would gain more from that instead, one wise person said and Youngho believed that. However, when Yuta started talking about the competition, the bugging thought at the back of Youngho's head from few days ago came back. It became bit more disturbing inside his head as Yuta enthusiastically shared his inspiration and ideas for his work with him yet Youngho couldn't name it still. It was like a snap and it suddenly became crystal clear when Yuta asked him, "What about you Youngho?"

 

Youngho remained silent, he figured it just then.

 

He was at slump for both idea and inspiration.

 

At first he didn't even think about it, mind occupied with worry and burden being chosen as the school representative. Being representative meant big responsibility because he would bring his school's pride and trust on his shoulders. And Youngho couldn't disappoint anyone, let alone his school's name. Being at slump for idea and inspiration shouldn't have been such big thing, since they could come anytime and in any unexpected moment. Yet at the end of the day, it was. Youngho thought at that moment, he was so doomed.

 

"I don't have any at the moment," he answered blankly.

 

Yuta was searching for his eyes before he spoke, "It's okay," he said reassuringly, "they will come before you know it."

 

Youngho kept fumbling with the camera strap in his hands, his mind racing with doubled worries and what ifs, what Yuta had said calmed him a bit but it wasn't enough. "What if they don't come?" he voiced out one of them.

 

"How about this, i once read that when you meet the dead end, you can go back to the basic."

 

Youngho was intrigued, "The basic.. like what?"

 

"Let's keep it simple, like your favorite color?", Yuta suggested helpfully.

 

"It's blue." Youngho said without missing a beat.

 

"Then you can start on something which has blue as the majority of its color scheme."

 

"It's a good help actually, i will try it later. Thanks Yuta."

 

"Anytime, Youngho. Don't be too hard on yourself yeah? There's still a lot of time. Also, you can find me if you need someone to talk to regardless anything." Yuta said with two comforting pats to his shoulder.

 

A thankful smile spread across Youngho's face.

 

 

So that was how then Youngho found himself turning his direction towards the big river near his neighborhood that monday afternoon. Hoping he could get some inspiration by going to the nearest place from his home which had a lot of blue. The breeze that afternoon was calming as it caressed Youngho's face. Camera which was hanging on his neck bouncing a little into his chest at every step he took. Nearing the river Youngho's eyes caught an unmoving figure standing by the rail of the bridge. The closer he got, Youngho figured that the figure was rather a boy who seemed not much older than him and he was wearing his school uniform which only meant the boy also went to the same school as him. Despite standing from a distance Youngho could get a clear look on the face of the figure. It was an unfamiliar face, that was the first thing he noticed, he had never either known nor seen that boy anywhere in school before. The next thing he noticed was the eyes of the boy which were serene as he was taking in the view of fluttering water of the river below. The clear eyes reflecting the sunset light. The gentle breeze of that afternoon slipped in between the dark brown strands of the boy and blew them. He was standing there in silence making Youngho observed him in silence too, interested as the boy in his view was so full of life yet seemed so grounded. The eyes, Youngho further observed, were shining something when they kept fixed on the moving stream. Definitely not emptiness. The boy seemed to have a hold on reality yet so lost in his own world he created inside his head. Youngho, without even realizing holding up his camera in front of his face. His left hand skillfully rotated the lens to focus on the view that had been consuming his attention, wanting to capture it. Even before he managed to press the shutter button, the boy had gone.

 

He was one second away too late.

 

 

***

 

 

Youngho found the boy again on the same exact spot in next wednesday afternoon. This time he didn't bring his camera, as he was just unintentionally passed the place on his way to home, thoroughly tired after the volleyball practice. The boy still had the same expression as he did two days ago and he was also wearing the school uniform. Youngho was intrigued, that was for sure. And the fact that the boy was from the same school as him just made him more interesting. Youngho might or might not have tried to look over the students faces whenever he was outside of his class in case finding that boy. Yet at one side he didn’t have enough courage to walk up to the boy. Not wanting to break the serenity the boy had been surrounding himself with a silliness of a hello and initiation to make an acquaintance. So observing by the distance, he did. By the time the sun gone behind the horizon, Youngho noticed the boy straightened up letting out a small huff of air, the corners of his mouth stretched up creating a small smile. Then he turned and went on his way. Youngho wordlessly watched the boy disappeared from the corner of the street.

 

 

***

 

 

Yuta called him a week after that, it was few days until his soccer match and Yuta was given a day break before final practice and preparation. He asked, _“Youngho! Do you have any plan after your swimming class in Saturday?”_

 

“Huh?” Youngho was stunned. _Yuta did it again._

 

 _“Do you have any plan? After your swimming class?”_  Yuta repeated bit slower. He must had thought that Youngho didn’t hear him clearly over the phone.

 

“Oh? oh! No, no, I don’t have any plan after that. Why do you ask?”

 

_“Let’s go to Anguk-dong! I know this place which is perfect for photo hunting! Other than that let’s just play around! It’s a good place I promise! What do you say?”_

 

“Sure, sure I will go but you gotta treat me later too, my time isn’t for free you know!”

 

He heard Yuta chuckled by the end of the line, _“Yeah, yeah whatever mr. my-time-isn’t-for-free,”_  Yuta said mockingly, he then added, _“Alright then, see you on Saturday Youngho!”_

 

After he had hung off, Youngho stared absentmindedly at his phone. It was the fourth time Yuta did that. Mentioning things about Youngho which Youngho himself was sure that he had never mentioned to the auburn haired boy before. The very first time Yuta did that was around the first few days of them being friends. It was when they unintentionally met in school canteen for the nth time and they ended up having lunch together. Youngho had just finished his meal as Yuta was coming back to their table after excusing himself to wash his hands. There was two cans of cola from the vending machine near the long basin at the back of the canteen on his both hands. Sitting back at his seat across Youngho he put one can in front of him, Youngho looked up at him questioningly. “Your favorite right?” Yuta had asked him instead.

 

Youngho didn’t look into it too much at first, thinking Yuta might had seen him drinking cola for few times to be no longer considered healthy and decided himself that the drink was Youngho’s favorite. Youngho kept trying to stay unbothered until the third time, when Yuta brought him sandwich and a bag of potato chips that one friday afternoon. And the fourth time it happened, just few minutes ago, it was becoming harder for Youngho to just plainly ignore it. The thing about Yuta was that auburn haired boy was more observant than he seemed to be. He was very attentive whenever Youngho talked to him. Also wise and thoughtful in his words when he told Youngho his insights and opinions. But it couldn’t be denied that Youngho felt bit anxious at the moment because just _how much did Yuta know about him?_ And most importantly _How?_ Or was Youngho just that easy for people around him to read? His mind racing with lots of thoughts. And _how about that first time they met in teachers office? Did it have anything to do with recognition glint in Yuta’s eyes that time? Youngho apparently didn’t mistake it?_

 

 

 

“My friend actually told me about it.” Yuta admitted after Youngho had eventually had a tongue slip. It was the fifth time then. They were chilling at one table set under air conditioner of one bakery at Anguk-dong, each of them having a slice of carrot cake courtesy of Yuta. When they were walking around the neighborhood having just finished the photo hunting, the auburn haired boy suddenly pointed at one building. While walking towards its direction he told Youngho that the bakery shop was pretty famous in that area and that they had decent carrot cake with an addition, “Your favorite isn’t it?” which Youngho could only answer with a yeah and fall behind Yuta’s steps into the bakery.

 

“Quite little birdie of a friend you have there.” Youngho muttered to himself, but it was loud enough for Yuta to hear for the auburn haired boy chuckled at him, “Yeah, yeah, true.”

 

“Who?” Yet Youngho found himself asking as he couldn’t stop himself. Because as long as he remembered he hardly knew any 12-5 students beside Yuta.

 

Yuta took a gulp of his iced tea before answering, “It’s not my place to tell.” he grinned cheekily.

 

Getting such answer Youngho huffed. He picked up the straw on his own drink, the clicking sound of ice cubes against glass could be heard as he swirled it around its contents-iced coffee-just for the sake of pacifying himself. He felt oddly bit uncomfortable after knowing somebody, who he might didn’t know, knew a lot about him that they even shared it with Yuta.

 

The auburn haired boy titled his head, confused at Youngho’s sudden silence. “You know Youngho,” he started, “Being in fixed school volleyball team makes you pretty well-known around the school right? You didn’t think that no one would know you, did you?”

 

_Oh._

 

_He’s right._

 

If he being honest, Youngho had never considered that before. He should have had known the possible popularity which came being in school team. Even if he didn’t want it he couldn’t avoid it. It was inevitable at the end, along with secret admirer and any other kind of admirer. He even had experienced those things, finding chocolates and presents and post-its inside his shoe cupboard kind of things. He chuckled at himself, he was so silly. “You’re right.”

 

“I know I’m always right.” Yuta said nonchalantly as he fumbled with his camera possibly going through the captures he got not long ago. “You tell me Youngho, this neighborhood is good place right?”

 

“Not bad.” Youngho simply said, no longer wanting to feed Yuta’s ego. He glanced outside through the huge window beside their table, there was a lot people passing by, “I like the atmosphere here. It’s like both traditional and new millennial cultures came clashing and forming a good combination. Maybe when my friends from America come to visit me, I will take them here.” He supplied.

 

When he turned his head to Yuta, he got a proud smile in return.

 

 

Yet unfortunately liking the place didn’t mean that his photo hunting also went well. It was quite in contrast with Yuta as Youngho noticed the satisfied look drawn across the boy’s face when he went through his captures. Youngho had taken a lot of pictures, that was for sure. But he felt like those captures he got weren’t up to his satisfaction. It was like once he captured, he would keep pressing the shutter button. Not because it was beautiful that Youngho couldn’t stop capturing, instead he would find every capture seemed off. He hadn’t been out of his slump yet apparently. Then the boy he had seen two times at the bridge came into his head out of nowhere, the serene eyes, the soft dark brown locks fluttering in afternoon breeze, the one he wanted to capture with his camera but he had yet a chance to. His searching for the face at school had been futile too. Youngho was contemplating to tell Yuta about the boy and ask whether he might knew about him, but it would be kind of hard as Youngho had only seen him two times with not so much of information to describe.

 

Watching Yuta happily looked at his camera screen and proceeded to talk animatedly to him, Youngho thought,

 

_Maybe some other time._

 

 

***

 

 

A week had passed since the outing at Anguk-dong, and Youngho hadn’t seen Yuta for that long. For he believed his friend was practicing hard for the match. It had passed then when Youngho wanted to call him in one evening, meaning to ask the auburn haired boy regarding the result of his match and whether he wanted to go on another photo hunting. However, the moment his call was answered he was met with Yuta’s panic-stricken voice, _“How is it?”_

 

Alarmed, Youngho paused a bit, "Yuta?" he then asked carefully as he didn't want to startle the boy.

 

 _"Youngho? Oh i'm sorry i didn't see the caller's id."_ despite trying to conceal his voice lighter, Youngho could still feel his restlessness over the static tone of the phone. _"What's up?"_ Youngho also heard a wind blew into the device's microphone and sound of cars passing by which only told him that Yuta was outside.

 

Youngho's brows furrowed, something felt off, "Yuta? Is everything okay?"

 

The other end of the line was silent for few moments before Yuta's voice came up, _"Uh yeah.. yeah! Everything is okay! But-"_

 

Youngho waited for Yuta to continue his sentence, but he remained silent. "But?"

 

_"Ah nothing, nevermind! Why did you call?"_

 

He might be imagining things but he felt like Yuta was in the middle of something urgent and he was waiting for some phone call from other than Youngho before he called. He was so worried yet he didn't want to be nosy so he decided to make his phone call short. "Ah nothing big, just wanted to say hello since we haven't talked for a while! That's it, see you around at school Yuta!"

 

_"Ah right, sorry about that. Hopefully i can catch you around at school."_

 

With that Youngho ended his call. Staring at the blinking duration which ended on 1:53 on his screen, Youngho hoped that nothing bad happened with his friend.

 

 

***

 

 

It was few days after Youngho had managed to catch up with Yuta at school when he intentionally went on his way to the bridge hoping he could see the nameless boy again in one afternoon. Camera in hand. It was fueled by the thought that he might had seen the boy when he was engaged in conversation with Yuta at school. He knew he was being weird and borderline stalking, yet he couldn't hold himself back. One great people said that you had to follow what your heart told you, so Youngho did. And he found him, he saw that boy. Still all the same, in all serenity he seemed to possess. There was weird happy feeling swirling inside his chest and it made Youngho almost forgot his intention of going out. He quickly held up the camera. All set, lens focused, target not moving, his hands fixed and he pressed the shutter button. He then lowered the device down, wanting to check his capture.

 

The boy wasn't in the picture.

 

Bewildered, Youngho looking up only to find the boy was gone.

 

 

 

 

More curious afternoons and futile attempts, Youngho wondered if the boy was even real. That his existence was like a sunset, the moment Youngho had always found him in. A moment of transition when everything didn't feel so real. A fleeting existence. So he decided that after one last attempt in that sunday afternoon, he would stop and go on with his own life. Set on thinking the nameless boy as a fragment of his imagination, the product of his illusion as the result of his desperation in finding some muse and inspiration. So he went on his way, weirdly determined.

 

And there he was, the nameless boy. The one who had been monopolizing all Youngho's mind these past few weeks.

 

There wasn't so many change of the boy. In fact, there was none. He was still nameless boy for Youngho and he was still standing there, serene eyes fixed on the river. Having his camera ready in front of his face, Youngho found himself observing the guy for a little bit through the viewfinder. Perhaps feeling somebody pointed a camera to him a little too long, the nameless boy slowly turned his head towards Youngho's direction, acknowledging his presence. And like what Youngho saw few weeks ago after that sunset in one tuesday afternoon, a small smile stretched across his face, adorning his equally serene mien.

 

A shutter went off.

 

Youngho, having no grip on what just happened slowly lowered his camera down. The boy was nowhere to find with his bare eyes. Turning his attention to the camera, he looked at his capture. A picture of the rail of the bridge and fluttering wave of the stream adorned with twinkling light reflected by the water, no hint of the boy's existence in his picture. It was almost like there wasn't any being other than him in the first place.

 

Youngho stiffened, a realization dawned on him.

 

He should have had noticed earlier that the boy wore the very same attire every time he saw him.

 

 

***

 

 

 

(A month after only staying in contact by chat messages with Yuta, Youngho found himself walking towards 12-5 classroom. The news about Yuta were that the school soccer team won the first place in the match, that was why they hardly met, Yuta and his team had worked so hard. But they finally managed to gather together again to catch up on each other's works after school that day. Arriving in the back door of the classroom, Youngho's eyes caught Yuta's figure sitting at one desk in back row. So without hesitation Youngho stepped into the room, his eyes were taking in the surrounding. He had never really visited other classes before. There was actually not much difference than his own classroom. Just the placement of the locker and board at the back of the class.

 

A mini poster pinned into the board caught his attention he slowly walked closer to get a clearer look.

 

 _We Love You, Taeil!_ the title at the top of the paper said.

 

Youngho froze.

 

He must have had been standing rooted for few moments that he didn't realize Yuta had come standing beside him. He was also looking at the mini poster, his eyes were sad and regretful.

 

"He was reported gone a little over a month ago. We-his family and i-have been trying our best to find him, but no good news until this day."

 

As he didn't get any response from Youngho he continued, "He is my best friend," he paused to let out a woeful little chuckle, "and that little birdie friend you said."

 

Youngho looked at Yuta in great disbelief as his heart dropped to his feet.

 

In that poster there was a portrait of a boy, bearing a very familiar smile.

 

 

A smile Youngho had seen a couple sunsets ago.)

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> *if any of you haven't known, (call!) is famous exclamation among koreans which is meant to say (sure!) or (i'm in!) written as 콜 which is the koreanized pronunciation of the english word itself.
> 
> *the youngho's trivias yuta spouted out here are legit. i took it from the english translation of [johnny's trivia thread](https://twitter.com/bigcatjohnny/status/923426539395354625) in twitter (i would like to thank the op) they are number 16, 71, 78, 82, 96, and 279 which especially is about yuta being the first person to take youngho to anguk-dong. 
> 
> *once again happiest bday to mi!! the taeil to my youngho!! you're a fan of fantasy aus but i'm no capable of writing those so i wrote one which can trigger your fantasy instead (maniacal laughter) hope you like this and may the upcoming year will be gentle for you. i love you so much.
> 
> *and happy birthday in advance to the loml, the certain moon taeil. all my breakdown tweets in my priv are just about me crying over him lmao. his existence is so precious to me and i lov him so much it so crazy
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to drop anything on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/eunsoap) ♡


End file.
